College: New Beginnings

College: a time of adventure and self-reflection. In the 12 years of academia it took to breed you, you are thrusted into a new environment where you are expected to take your life into your own hands. After 12 years of academia where teachers force fed you the necessities, the instant college starts, you find yourself starting to finally think for yourself. College is a scary time for it seems unstable. Any wrong move, no matter how small or large it is, could instantly impact your life. In those 12 years of academia, you were constantly surrounded by familiar faces but in college, you know no one. It is a communal refresh button so it is easy to feel left out. As a college freshman balls deep into her 2nd semester, I can attest to the loneliness. Starting off my 1st semester, I was a member of the honors program and knew people due to my older brother but although I was part of a renowned program and had connections, I have never felt like I was truly included into any of those groups. It was as if I was placed in limbo, unable to move on or move backwards. I gradually found myself alienating myself to avoid the anxiety of fitting in but while i found temporary comfort in isolation, it took a toll on my mental and emotional state. I constantly was on edge and suffered crazy amounts of anxiety. I ended the 1st semester losing my place in the program but in that loss, I finally got to breathe. I could finally do me. Just me and no one else. How did I survive? Well, I had a Cristina to my Meredith, I had a person. Although I did not have a populous social group like in high school, I found comfort in finding my person. I did not care about having a big group in college, all I wanted was to ultimately survive the semester. I learned things about myself that I possibly could not in elementary, middle or high school because I was not thrusted out of my comfort zone. The outcomes was defintely not my expectations coming into college but I found satisfaction in knowing that I grew as a person. While I am fearful for the unexpected turns that life would throw at me, I am confident that it will add onto my journey of self-finding. College isn’t totally a scam kids.

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